you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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