everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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