I just saw a hot homeless man
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
