why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Hippo gnu deer
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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