My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
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I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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