I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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