Where is the hickey?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
