Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
