in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
