Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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