I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
