my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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