im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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