girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
