Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He kissed a someone with a penis
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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