I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
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If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
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seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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