I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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