Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
bring money and cleavage
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
