dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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