we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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