If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
