I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
