the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
