loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize