rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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