I haven't been this sober since birth.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
