just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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