My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
