Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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