you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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