I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
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My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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