i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
