She's like a pop up book from hell.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
