the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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