Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize