We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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