i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
