You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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