I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
