yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
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I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
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You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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