i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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