Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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