This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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