Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
