now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
