I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
