they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
