Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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