Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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