yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
