She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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