peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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