So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
