be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize