Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
