Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
