do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
